Monday, March 25, 2013

My next vote goes to . .


I was reading the tabloid Pune Mirror today and happened to come across a really interesting article here.

Apparently, a student organization called “Bharat Vidyarthi Kriya Samiti” has come up with this new scheme to nominate a donkey in the next elections to showcase . . . . ? Not sure what the motives are, but looks like a good plan. Here are the advantages - 
  • The donkey is in no way connected to the Nehru-Gandhi family and/or their supporters. Though that immediately disqualifies said animal from any chances of coming to power, it does lend a solid basis of credibility to the candidature. 
  • Compared to the current crop of politicians, the donkey is cultured and well-behaved. We know for a fact that unless his buttons are pushed to a limit, all that the donkey is going to do is sit in the legislative assembly and
    • EITHER graze contentedly without disturbing proceedings. 
    • OR stand in one place gazing with mild benevolence at the speaker.
  • Either way, it’s not going to disrupt proceedings in any form or manner whatsoever. Which is more than you can say for the current crop of politicians (I am just going to refer to them as CCOP).
  • The donkey is MUCH more intelligent than the CCOP. I mean come on, we can’t call the ability to collude and defraud as intelligence. We can call it cunning, shrewdness, dishonesty or any other adjective at best. But not intelligence. Other than that, I don’t think the CCOP has displayed any evidence of grey matter between its ears. Planning, foresight, vision, moral characters are qualities unheard of in the CCOP. Compared to that, the donkey at least has the sense to not be harmful if it can’t be useful. 
  • The donkey makes more sense when it opens its mouth. That sublime bray has more content than anything the CCOP has come up with in recent years. Right from saffron terror remarks to comparing intelligence of Swami Vivekananda to Dawood Ibrahim the CCOP has been in rare form in the recent past. The donkey wins hands down when it comes to sense and content. 
  • The donkey looks better. For all those who keep aesthetics in mind, the donkey is better looking than 80% of the CCOP. Right from Mamata’s baleful glare to Mulayam’s supercilious sneer.


Given the above points, I would say the donkey would make an excellent candidate. This might just be the best news that Indian society has received in a while. A shot in the arm. A new high.

Let’s bray for this.